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| Learning from the Four
Agreements |
| By Greg Vanden Berge 9/10/2008 |
What is it about most people that makes them believe the words spoken
from other people, whether it's on television or someone that they know
personally. When someone tells you something for example a friend of
yours mentions that he believes something is wrong with a mutual friend
of yours. Now you immediately start to show some concern about what your
friend is talking about.
Your friend goes on to explain why he believes there is something wrong.
Now you really start to show some concerns about what your friend is
saying. Now you start asking questions to verify there is a problem at
the same time your friend is feeding off of your questions. Now both of
you seem to have a deep concern about your mutual friend, whom you both
care about and want to help.
Together you approach your mutual friend, you noticed that he seems to
be a little gloomy or down and now, this adds to your concerned now
about him and verifies what your friend was talking about, now you're
really starting to show some concern and even a little worry. The first
question out of your mouth to your mutual friend is "What's Wrong, you
can tell us, we're here to help, is it your wife, is it something
happening at work, what's wrong you seem to be down and out in lately,
is there anything we can do for you.
As your mutual friend replies with a simple statement; No There Is
Nothing Wrong Why Do You Ask. And your reply of course is it seems like
you haven't been the same lately. Your mutual friend now in deep thought
trying to figure out how he has sent the wrong message to you and your
friend. As he search's in the archives in his mind he finally comes up
with one instance where he remembers going to get a drink of water and
as he walked into the the room, he noticed your friend had spilled some
water on top of a desk with papers on it.
Now your mutual friend replies you're thinking of the time that I was
trying to help your friend and he got a little testy with me so I said
okay don't worry about it it's just water and walked off. That must've
been the time that he thought I wasn't feeling good or possibly in a bad
mood.
As we read the story about three people interacting and trying to be
helpful while creating confusion we start to get a little clearer
picture about where the problem is coming from. We do this our whole
lives when we assume that there is a problem with somebody because of
something they said or even a small gesture, facial expression or body
language.
Reading the
Don Migel Ruiz's book The Four Agreements he speaks about never
making assumptions and asking questions until you are satisfied with the
truth. This doesn't require asking 10,000 questions to find out if
someone is mad or upset with you, maybe just a couple of the right
questions asked will do. The minute we assume that someone is mad at us
because of something we did or said we fall into the same trap as the
story above.
This book has had a large influence on my life, changing the way I think
about how someone responds to me. If someone responds to me in a
negative way I no longer assume they intentionally want to harm me. If I
watch a television program that is giving me fact after fact I no longer
assume this is the truth. Living your life without assumptions causes
you to think about what you're going to say and even how you are going
to present your next thought.
Don't get caught up in somebody else's story, don't let somebody else's
story control your life, don't assume and don't believe everything you
hear is the truth. Look at what someone else says as just a story unless
you have seen it with your own eyes and even then it can be confusing. |
About the Author
Greg Vanden Berge has been
reading what he would like to refer to as
spiritual books for the past
36 years. Trying to understand how we can get brainwashed into believing
something that someone else says, writes about and of course the media
has become a fascination of his lifelong journey.
Greg also reads a lot of personal improvement books and will soon be
coming out with his second book. The first book is
Start Living Your Dreams Today
and can be purchased from his website
Spiritual Ideas. |
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